Holiday Survival Tip #5: Allow Yourself To Feel
Dec 20, 2022
CONTINUING my weekly series on how to stress less and thrive more through this holiday season. No matter how you celebrate, there seems to always be an additional stress component this time of year. Getting together with family, work parties, and having house guests, are all situations that come with their own challenges. This series will take us into the New Year and offer tips to move through the season seamlessly.
𝐒𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥 𝐓𝐢𝐩 # 𝟓: 𝐀𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥. This past weekend, as I worked through a lot of my own challenging emotions, I started to plan this blog. The holidays are full of conflicting emotions: joy, pain, elation, anger, sorrow, hopefulness, hopelessness, love, feeling unloved…and the list could go on. We are sometimes so very excited to be with the ones we love…as well as maybe NOT feeling so excited. We are missing those we are apart from and cannot celebrate with, and we grieve those we have lost.
And sometimes we just want to have a little alone time to process these feelings that are arising or drink a cup of coffee or tea in peace.
When dealing with difficult or strong emotions, one of the main concepts to remember is that we are not trying to get “rid” of any feeling or emotion. We only want to understand and allow it.
Yet how can we work through some of these more challenging feelings without putting a lid on the holiday fun or ending up completely overwhelmed? Here are five tips for navigating challenging emotions at the holidays and beyond:
Name it. What are you actually feeling? Name the emotion. If it is anger, is that covering for a softer emotion, such as rejection, fear, or doubt? Naming the emotion allows you to begin to understand it better and provides an orientation for you. It also helps you to take a step back before reacting too quickly.Ask yourself where you feel the emotion in your body. How is your body processing this emotion? Is there tension in your shoulders? Chest? Are you clenching your jaw or your fist? Breathe into that space. Start to consciously soften it with each breath and release some of the tension with each exhale.Remember that every emotion is valid. Try not to think of difficult emotions as good or bad, but simply understand that they just are what they are. Everything you feel is valid—because you ARE feeling it. Do not you steal from yourself by thinking you “should not” feel any certain way. Adding blame or guilt onto your emotion will only make it more difficult to manage, as you might tend to bury it or tamp it down, which will not allow you to process it on any level.Allow yourself to “touch” the emotion. Feeling and leaning into the emotion in small increments will help your brain and body to process it smoothly. Notice it, allow it, let yourself feel into it in small doses.Bring kind awareness to it. As you are feeling into the emotion, be sure to press pause if you start to go into overwhelm. If you notice yourself getting wrapped up in your story or anxiety begins to surface, step back. Press pause. Take this process at a pace that works for you.I hope you enjoy this series and if you want to take stressing less and thriving more deeper, feel free to reach out!
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